It’s Like Learning to Fly While Falling in Love

I despise most articles about relationships but this one caught my eye.

Honestly, I don’t like discussing relationships-I love analyzing/helping out others but when it comes to me…well, I would rather not. I feel that my ‘dating personality’ is very misunderstood and all I hear from people is how they assume that it should all be so easy for me. Apparently I’m too picky (I should be), I’m not sexy enough (that one is from my mother!), I make it obvious when I’m bored (true but faking anything is a waste of time), and my favorite: not putting out is hurting my chances (ha! because that’s a guarantee).

Yet, I have never been more optimistic about love.

How the hell did this happen?

I’ve had no luck with the relationship thing. I’ve yet to be in anything serious –usually I get into long complicated situations that never turn into anything substantial. My first kiss was a month before my 19th birthday to a guy who supposedly doesn’t remember- and whom I later discovered actually wanted to date my best friend (ouch). There have been multiple love triangles, breakups with extremely bad timing, a lot of things unremembered and unrequited. I was an over-analytical nut who wrote scathing letters and actually sent them.

Then that all just stopped. I would like to say that I met some one and it all became magically perfect but that’s not true. Part of it is that I figured myself out - finally at the point where I know I can flourish in a relationship. I am no longer afraid of falling in love and 'losing' myself. Additionally, I decided to forgive all of those guys who hurt me in the past. They were not, as I used to love to think, diabolical schemers plotting to destroy me. All of them spent a good deal of time getting to know me-and most of them did like me at one point. Timing is everything-and none of those guys at the time could have given me what I wanted and were well, still in their smutty life stage.

I’m not saying that I don’t get lonely. Or question why I haven’t managed to get into a serious relationship. But I am beginning to realize that that is all a waste of tears and anxiety.

I know I will be with my soulmate so until then I am just going to fill my life with self-adventures and trusty worthy friends. And I will certainly enjoy myself.